Partly because it’s a new year, but mostly because no one has beaten me up yet, here are some more toe-curling photographs of classical musicians trying to look cool.

First up are the cellists. For reasons which escape me, cellists appear to favour the great outdoors. Look, here’s one frolicking with his cello in the Alps…

What was that? You want me to move my chair back 6 inches? To get the right light. Uh,OK…

This next cellist has obviously checked out his rival’s publicity photo, and decided that extreme temperatures are a good way to get gigs.

Please help me. I’m lost in the desert and cellos are growing out of the sand.

Meanwhile, the chap below has left me momentarily lost for words. Yes I know. It’s unlike me. But really… What can I say?

Go on, fall off.

And now, on to the wealth of embarrassment presented to us by the classical flautist. What is it about flautists? Why can’t they just get themselves photographed fluting somewhere normal?

Quick, take the photo! I’m about to go under for the 3rd time…

Here’s another one. I honestly have no idea why this bloke is playing his flute to a koala bear.

Please get rid of this guy and bring me some eucalyptus leaves.

Mind you, flute players aren’t nearly as embarrassing as horn players.

It’s not my fault! The photographer made me do it.

I reckon something happens to horn players when they’re presented with a camera. Some strange, irresistible force compels them to do something silly with their instrument.

What? You want me to hold my horn in the normal position? Are you mad?

I think it’s about time we had some unnecessary nudity, don’t you?

Look, you’ve persuaded me to pose naked with my gamba. Just don’t expect me to look happy about it, OK?

You may have noticed the leafy garland. String players, when nude, seem to rather like them. This lot have taken the garland to a whole new level.

My garland’s bigger than yours.

And finally, here’s a picture of a man with a viol.